Recently I have been working with a lot of ADHD clients and fast thinkers and I have been trying to slow them down. I put myself in this group as well. One of the problems with the extraordinary ADHD mind is that it moves faster than reality. We want it to be done now, without ever considering that for other people their minds process information slower, or that some things just take time. I myself will sometimes have a hundred thoughts within a minute, my inner time clock is moving much faster than reality. Sometimes I will have had so many thoughts in one day that it literally feels like a week has gone by, and then I think: “Oh, that was just yesterday.” This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety and not allow for the natural ebb and flow of life. Technology is not helping.
Here are 6 tips to help slow down:
- Lead a normal life. Extraordinary minds tend to want to be extraordinary in all aspects of their lives. They adsorb material on the Internet and on television and want to have everything. My suggestion is to forget extraordinary and just be normal. Nice, easy relationships with the standard ups and downs. Have a family if you wish. Spend sensibility. Enjoy recreational activities. Don’t take yourself too seriously and exercise often.
- Take the time to let other people do things for you and let things take care of themselves. An ADHD person tends to be more controlling and thinks they need to do everything themselves, mostly because we think everything is moving very slow. Let others also take care of you and let things take their own sweet time.
- Change only one thing in your life. I am notorious for wanting to fix my finances, change my diet, upgrade my body and read several kindle books all in the course of one week. Just choose one. This is much easier.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself and let go of thinking you need to be the best. Often when I work with Extraordinary ADHD people (and I’m like this as well). We get obsessed wanting to improve ourselves even after we have far surpassed the the norm for what is considered successful. I remember recently attending an intensive marriage therapy training course and after having absorbed all the new materiel on how to make a marriage better I texted my ex-girlfriend and apologized for being such a bad boyfriend in the relationship. She texted me back saying: “Are you kidding? You are one of the best people I have every met and were a wonderful boyfriend.” So relax if it ain’t broke.
- Think, act and do things 40% slower. As an ADHD person we mistakenly assume that the problem is that we are not doing things fast enough or good enough when in fact the opposite is true. You need to do things slower and let things happen. Let go of speed. In fact, by doing things slower, you become more present and patient and can make better choices in what need to be done and can accomplish them more easily.
- Relax more. Don’t feel guilty about it. Enjoy your life and let things take care of themselves. You are already good enough. And nothing really needs to be done if you just truth it. Just follow the old adage: It’s all coming together.