Reducing Inner Conflict

It may be surprising to know that reducing conflict within yourself is a fundamental key to true happiness. Many advanced happiness teachers and spiritual experts would argue (okay perhaps not ‘argue’) that it is the ongoing conflict we have within our mind that creates tremendous suffering.

If you think back to a time today or this week when something did not go right for you, you’ll find that when you stop that conflict is still there within you, perhaps a relationship was challenged, something happened at home or you just starting feeling dissatisfied with your life.

The conflict is within your mind. Almost all the time we have so much conflict happening that we don’t even mention it to people. But when your lying in bed at night, your mind is racing, trying to sort and process, trying to bring some peace to the situation.

The conflict at one level is a conflict between dueling thoughts, ‘what happened’ and what ‘should’ have happened and we can go back and forth with this.

At a deeper level the conflict is with your mind and your calm human self.

This is why mental training, one might call it meditation or conscious reflection is paramount to breaking free and becoming truly happy. As one takes space for him or herself, within that space the mental conflict can be seen. And we can then realize that we don’t actually want to be creating this conflict. It’s simply old patterns of human thinking.

This is a wonderful first step. With time a person shifts the definition of who they are, away from ‘I am these thought patterns’ towards ‘I am NOT these thought patterns’. And then a big adventure occurs. For one begins to realize that if ‘I am not my thoughts’ than what else could I be.

The answer is a lot more than you initially ‘thought’.

– Heron Free

About the Author:

Calgary psychologist and relationship expert, Heron Free, M.Ed., R.Psych is an author and outside of the box thinker in the fields of personal growth and change. He is the author of The Relationship Code and The Infinite Relationship.

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