One of the key approaches I have been using with couples over the last year is having them say ‘yes’ to their partner and not ‘no’. Not: I’m right. You’re wrong. Or: That’s not a good idea. When a couple comes in for counselling they often have a pretty firm idea of what the issue is. He had an affair or she isn’t a good communicator. We don’t talk or intimacy sucks. It even comes down to he’s loading to the dishes the wrong way.
Wonderful! Should we have a conversation for how someone should properly clean the dishes during my session? Please! That’s not the issue. The problem is however, they don’t actually know what the true issue is.
Something has been lost. The connection or the butterflies in the stomach have gone away. The joy and energy they first felt with their partner has left and they are now simply feeling the doldrums of the relationship. Now I hear you saying: “Oh yeah that’s normal. Sex goes down, intimacy goes down and we just just make it work. NOT ON MY WATCH! We are here to experience joy and bliss with our partners and everything else before that means we haven’t finished yet. Okay, I don’t want to come across as being too harsh. We are all doing our best. But we all yearn for that ultimate connection. We can just feel it. We sometimes just don’t know how to sustain it.
To understand how to sustain it we have to think of the quality of a relationship as more of a vibrational frequency and less the amount of time you have spent together. Think of when you first met your partner. Think of how happy you were. Think of the most joyful moment you ever had with your partner. In that moment did the dishes matter? You were on a high, you were in a joyful state. Whenever that was it was a very high vibrational frequency. But it wasn’t necessarily because of the specific event or location (though that can help), you were just like: This is love. This is awesome. I’m so happy.
And the vibrations are churning.
In that moment, you were in a higher vibrational frequency. Let’s just say you felt closer to God or love which may be true but in reality you were
actually closer to yourself. When you totally let go and accept yourself, you come more into the present moment. The energy is now. And the realization of happiness and perfection is there. You in fact became much closer to you. You are no longer in your mind coming from a place of fear or loss. You had actually in that moment, beyond the mind and are experiencing a place of joy and utter peace. And in that moment the relationship is perfect again.
My goal on this planet is to help teach your how vibrational relationships work. And this is what I’m going to be teaching my couples at this point. So if you are looking for a relationship upgrade please book in.
The higher the vibration you can get with your partner and sustain it the better the more likely you will experience rapid change and success in your relationship. This starts by you saying ‘yes’ a lot more to your partner’s requests and not blocking things. It’s starts with trusting and surrendering to him and her and going from there.
Now just a caveat. You partner also has to be on-board with this approach or it will fail miserably. This is a group effort. And if you have been betrayed or deeply hurt by your partner in the past, that does need to be addressed first.
How ever in the simplest terms. It’s like being six-year old kids again. Do you want to come play with me? Yes. Do you want to go see a movie? Yes? Do you want to make love? Yes. This of course does not mean there is no discussion on it, nor do I ever want you to do something that you are deeply against, this is also wrong. But it is essentially removing the initial ‘no’ barrier that most entangled couples have they prevent them from having fun and experiencing the partner again in a more playful and flirty way.
Play, joy and flirting is a very high vibrational frequency to use when interacting with your partner.
When you say ‘yes’ to your partner it shows you are not mentally judging the other person and like the idea of them getting what they want. You are also wanting them to say ‘yes’ to you, as you being happy is your highest priority.
The big take away from this session is to remember that all successful relationships rely on raising the vibrational frequency between you and your partner by saying ‘yes’ to your partner more, ‘yes’ to yourself and not taking everything so darn seriously. Have more fun and more sex. Say yes to everything and see where it goes. Once you have raised up the vibrational frequency of the relationship it’s much easier then talk about who’s doing the dishes. Because only then is about doing the dishes and not about how your are not feeling perfectly fulfilled in the relationship. Get it?
Love you, and come in for a session online now: www.heronfree.com/book
Heron Free, M.Ed. R.Psych.
For more info on my 12 point system to mastering the Infinite Relationship please book in for a free consultation.
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